Monday, January 01, 2007

an actual return...after long wanderings

So this is actually...a return after long wanderings.

I haven't been here lately because i haven't felt like myself. I don't know what was wrong. I was just blah..and sad feeling inside.

And I realized Christmas Eve night after leavig the warm den of his grandfathers house just what that sad feeling inside was. It was missing my dad. It was needing him here next to my mom, handing a purple purse, with the picture of Tinkerbell,glittered and poeitic on the front,to my daughter. Excited and hands extending.

But life is beautiful. As so are the streets of Louisville, Kentucky on a Sunday night at approxiatmely 9:45 pm. So are the street lights flashing by..bringing to my mind the warm hazel eyes of my father, I glimpse every once in a while in the bath room mirror. Wishing he here were. Glad he isn't. He isn't hurting anymore. But needing his hand on my shoulder.

Tonight we went to a house party. At a long time friend of Chip's friends house. It was warm and wonderfull. The night air brisk outside, just enough to drive you back inside to warm drinks and even warmer company.

Tonight just as the ball began his descent. As the people inside. Loved,beloved.just getting to know....as they chanted that age old count down.

10....

and then he pulls me aside

9........

"let's go ouside..." he tugs my hand toward the pattio door and I clutch his hand in my left and my sweatshirt in the right

8.........

I Look back inside as he wraps his arms around me..

7..........

"you love me with all your heart , right?" he asks me. I smile looking back at him. "Yes,of course I do" I aswer with my eyes brows raised.

6............

"And you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with me?.....his left hand reaches down into his pocket. I nod my head in the positive motion

5..........

I look down at him fumbling in his pocket breifly. Something clicks in my mind....wait a minute..the balls just about to drop....what are we doing out here..?.....

4.......

he's holding a black velvet box.....and I keep my head down, staring at it.....thinking about the conversation his mother and I had the other night..if aiva's being good for my mom....why chips hand is shakeing a little bit....why my knees begin to .....

3......

"Will you marry me?"....he holds my face in his hand. stroking his thumb over my cheek

2.....

Are you serious?...really?..I ask him, holding the ring between my fingers. between his fingers.

1......

"Yes" he says. simply

~~~~~~~~!!!!HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!~~~~~~


they scream inside. the t.v plays that sad song they always play during new years, that always reminds me of Miracle On 34th Street. And I say simply.

Yes...yes.

4 Comments:

Blogger Alissa said...

Welcome to the family!

10:06 AM  
Blogger psbeachnut said...

Well, I posted once before, but it didn't feel like it worked, so I will try again!

Alissa said what I wanted to say - she beat me to it, but I'll say it anyway! Welcome to the family! We are glad to have you and Aiva! You are both welcome additions! Happy New Year! Peggy :)

2:10 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Congratulations and welcome to the family! :)

10:27 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Very romantic! We're glad to add you to the family. YOu and Aiva make Chip very happy, and we already love you :)

11:27 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home