Thursday, November 16, 2006

needing advice

Ok so something happened last night and this afternoon that I need a little bit of advice on. It concerns Aiva.

So last night after I got off from work I headed to Aivas Daycare, pulling in my mom and I noticed her boyfriends work van in the parking lot. Odd, but I didn't think too much of it. Maybe he was just waiting there for my mom,saving me an extra trip to her house. As I get out of the truck he opens the door and I realize that Aiva is in the front seat. I'm more than a little surprised.

Me: "Oh,ok..you picked up Aiva?:
Moms b/f:"Yeah, I figured I'd save a trip and pick up your mom too, plus I haven't seen her in a week and I wanted to say hi"

Aiva's happy, and I trust him no problem really. I notice Aiva's daycare providor looking out the window. So I get Aiva in the car and begin to back out, looking back I see my mom with a puzzled look on her face and talking to to her b/f as if she's upset.

On the way home I stop at Chip's job and he opens the window and says "Honey, your moms on my cell phone. So I take the phone and talk and he tells me to just keep it until he gets home. When I get home our conversation goes like this.

Mom:So I talked to Jody(her b/f) and he said he went in and said "I'm here to pick up Aiva" and the daycare providor *Cindy (fake name for confidentiality) says "Oh,ok,let me look on the list and see if your name is here...Yup,here it is...ok,you're fine,go ahead"...so he took her.

Me: I'm not upset with Jody because I don't trust him with Aiva,because I do. but that is my child and I don't feel comfortable knowing all somebody has to do is walk in and say "Hi, I'm here to pick up Aiva" and they can take her!

Mom: I know, but I am upset with him and I told him so because he had no right to do that with out your permission.

Me: So *Cindy didn't even ask him for the password or his drivers license to verify it was him?

Mom: No, she asked for his license and when he said "Ok, I'll go to my truck and get it" she said "Oh, don't worry about it if it wasn't you you wouldn't know you're on the list".

Me: Are you kidding me? SHe's never even seen him before and she's just going to take his word for it that it's him!? So anyone could just go get my daughter whenever they feel like it! She's getting a peice of my mind tomorrow.

So I go to drop her off this morning. Very very upset, and the other woman *Kathy is there and I tell her that I"m upset about the way they handled it and what it some random guy off the street or some random woman walked in and said "Oh, I'm shira's b/f or hey I'm shira's sister,give me Aiva" and you just hand her over! However, I swear I did not once raise my voice. I said simply that I was concerned and it mademe more than a little nervous and in the future would they please only release her to those I've given a hand written note to or after calling me first and making sure it was ok. She said that was fine. She was apologetic and nice and agreed that yes that is policy to not only ask for identification but a note or phone call as well. I left feeling a little better.

When I got off work today and went to pick up Aiva she was eating some noodles at the table with the other kids. Happy,content. However *Cindy walks right up to me and says...

Cindy: I didn't know it was a problem to release her to people you had on your list. IF you didn't want them to pick her up you shouldn't put them on your list.
Me: I have no problem with those people picking her up *Cindy, however as I told *Kathy earlier I would appreciate it if in the future since none of you have ever met anyone in my family other than myself,my mother and my b/f on 2 occasions, would you please only release her to them if they have a written note from me or verbal confirmation from me that it's ok.

Cindy storms into her office and gets Aivas file and begins scribbling.

Cindy: I'm not going through this! I'll just put that they need 15 different things to pick her up!

me: *cindy,we're both adults,and as such i would appreciate it if you weren't sarcastic and look at this from my point of view. This is not a cup,or a shoe or a product we are talking about. This is my child. All i'm asking is for you to give me the same consideration,and my daughter the same protection that you would your own children. I'm trusting,and paying,you to take care of my child. That entails security,not just nap time and meals.

She's still upset. And I feel my face getting red. Not to mention my mother standing behind me,who looks like she's about to strangle this woman.

I get Aivas coat and leave.

Outside my moms fuming. I look at her.

Me: i know,i know mom. she's out of there. i have enough to worry about and i'm not going to worry now that she's going to take this out on my daughter because she's mad at me because i'll strangle that woman before she harms my child.

So my question is this. Where her actions justifiable? Were my re-actions justifiable? Am I wrong?? What would you have done,or how would you feel in this same circumstance?

all comments are welcome and appreciated.

sleep well dear ones.